Lent Reflection, Day 28, April 1

And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet not what I want but what you want.”
Matthew 26:39

Additional Reading: Psalms 22:1-11

The movement of soul from “what I want” to “what You want” seems to be a voyage of endless miles. Few experiences trouble us more than being abandoned to a ruthless situation beyond our choice and control. The telling of the story of Jesus’ struggle to accept his “cup” is covered by a few poignant sentences in the book of Matthew. The living of it was more like a long night with a desperately sick child, or a grief so large the tears don’t even end until your head pounds and you ache with heart-sickness.

It is during the terrible spasm between “if possible” and “yet not what I want” that Jesus’ life speaks most eloquently to our own innocent suffering. More words would not add to the message. In that prolonged moment of agony the One enthroned and adored identifies in every sense with the crushed heart in each of us. Let him cry out! Let him pull his head to his knees and rock with sobs! It is the only way a human can pass through the narrow door of woe and into harmony with God’s will.

When you are bent with pain, hopeless from grief, gasping for air – go to the “Garden” and find him there. Call to him when trouble is near, for no one else know so well the reality of the struggle.

Prayer: Father, who can speak of the measure of the heart-wrenching struggle your Son endured in the garden at Gethsemane? We are humbled by it and see our own suffering in its light. Grant that we would find the strength he found in you in our sufferings. Grant that we would be able to choose what you want more than anything else. Amen.